Claire: That No Summer Feeling

I’m trying to remain positive. Really. So I won’t blog for long about how I’m still working despite everyone celebrating summer (what?) and all the districts in the state being done except ours and how an upstairs, unventilated classroom feels a tad stuffy when it’s 80 degrees outside. I won’t go on and on about how my neck still hurts almost three weeks in, how Newman is still coughing up a lung every day, how tired and icky we both feel, which has totally sapped our efforts to re-connect after our big ol’ fight last week, how I think I’ve gained 10 lbs of BLECH (negative emotional and physical weight) from not running in over two weeks. I won’t complain endlessly about how sad it is that I’ve lost count of how long it’s been since I ran last, and how pathetic I feel that I’m home alone on a Friday night and have absolutely no one to call because the people in my life all actually have lives, including my partner and my child, who are off being entertained elsewhere tonight.

No, I won’t do any of that. Instead, I’m going to make a list, simply because a list is what I make when I don’t have much oomph in me to make much of anything else.

5 Things I Am Grateful For

1. Nice doctors. I had an appointment with a physical therapist this week for my neck who was so nice, so caring, so professional, that she totally restored my faith in doctors and made me want to write her a thank you note. I was so happy in her presence that I even made small talk, which is something I don’t EVER voluntarily do.

2. Warm weather. Even when I’m sweating in a classroom full of teenagers, I’m still grateful for the weather. I am anxious to get out there and really appreciate it, but in the meantime, I thank you, weather gods.

3. My garden. It’s growing! It’s always a miracle, and I can’t get enough of it.

4. Tomorrow. I have a getaway planned with my two best girlfriends from work. We will be decadent all day and night and have a hotel room booked so we can go nuts with the wine we drink at our 5 course meal included in the deal. Yay. Even though I was hit with an unexpected car repair bill for a grand last week, which I can’t really afford, I refuse to think about money for at least another couple of days while I indulge enough to finally feel summer.

5. My daughter. Last but never least, I have to crow about my girl a bit. She had her final Girl Scout event today, and watching her perform with her friends was so cool. She has grown so much this year, and she is this amazing, confident little person who is just so great to know.

I know it’s lame, but that’s all I have in me right now. I’m sorry my writing spirit is sagging. Feed me prompts and ideas for next week if you’re so inclined, and I’ll try to do better. In the morning, before my decadence begins, I plan to get up and run. I can’t wait to feel some strength in my body again. Like the tiny sprouting corn seed Free gave me after school to plant in our garden, I feel vulnerable and delicate, but I know there is something powerful in me waiting to come alive again if I could just find some welcome ground.

KHP Art Below

KHP - Just another quick digital sketch.  I might have a lot of these this week.  Lots of deadlines and events.

KHP – Just another quick digital sketch. I might have a lot of these this week. Lots of deadlines and events.

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3 Responses to Claire: That No Summer Feeling

  1. khpixler says:

    Even my little pot garden we have here on our back porch makes me happy on rough days/weeks. I miss our big garden in Richmond but the little flowers and herbs sprouting just raise my spirits. LP and I are finally feeling better our allergies seem to be under control but I really think we had the three week long cold that your family is dealing with. It ruined my training, I just feel like I have been sick since the weather has changed after a really rough winter cold season. I hope this is not the new norm. What is your last day of school. It seems so late. What did they do that? Do you begin late?? Crazy!!

  2. Kristen R. says:

    Delicate and vulnerable is just how I feel. No strength right now and it’s showing in my writing and, well, everything. Hope today was a great day and that you enjoyed that run.

  3. wwwmama says:

    I think we’re all due for a turnaround soon. It’s coming. I can feel it. I’m glad I have you two to help me keep my chin up.

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