This week has been a roller coaster ride and I have felt unusually vulnerable to affects of all the chaos that seems to be unraveling around me. I have a theory on this and I think it is pretty solid. On Monday I took up a challenge to eat a completely plant based diet for a week. My friend J is doing veggies only but I decided that I would like to include fruits and stick with an almost raw diet. I have done liquid fasts in the past, usually in the summer, and I have loved them. I am a pretty healthy eater by nature and have even eaten a vegan diet so this has seemed like an easy diet plan for a week or two.
Well let me tell you, it has been nothing but easy but in an unexpected way. This summer has been a whirlwind, coming off two semester in a row where I felt like I could not catch my breathe and this past week has proven to be a difficult climb. There is much going on emotionally with decisions to be made on the career front, more importantly, my sister-in-law seems to be losing the battle in her fight against cancer and I seem to continue to be lathered in rejection which is doing very little for my self-confidence. I am assuming I did not receive the Artist in Residence position, as they have not contacted me in over three weeks. I find this to be quite unprofessional as there was only a pool of three of us left. One of my classes will not run in the fall due to low enrollment (it happens all the time but never to me) and they chose another adjunct to cover the CIS classes (probably a better candidate:). All this in mind, I have had some great freelance projects, a lot of support from my clients, my daughters are having an absolutely amazing summer of fun, and I found out I will be coaching girls varsity soccer for Mercersburg Academy in the fall. I had a wonderful interview and they hired me on the spot. This is partially attributed to Pete Gunkelman, who is the Director of Outdoor Education at the school and an old climbing buddy from RVA. He really gave me a glowing report and has made it a mini mission to get me on in some facet at the school.
So getting back to my issues with the diet. I love fruits and vegetables and I prefer eating them over almost anything except perhaps chocolate. The eating aspect of the diet has not been the difficult part. I think I might be going through some sort of withdraw as I feel extremely sensitive. Monday and Tuesday I felt so sad and any little bump in the day made me feel as if I was going to burst into tears. Wednesday I thought I turned the corner but yesterday was a disaster. I also started to feeling really sick during my second class and had to end class 40 minutes early. I never have done this and it was a little embarrassing. I ate a Raw Bar from Starbucks which was the only thing I ate that was out of the ordinary. It may have been too full of goodness for my body this week.
Oddly, all of this has fueled my fire to continue on this change in diet. I plan to eventually add back some protein but I am going to see how long I can continue with this. There are so many things I like about it. I am a snacker, I love to eat frequently. I don’t like eating big meals but I like eating throughout the day. I often eat regular meals with family out of tradition but I don’t think this is naturally in my body chemistry. This diet allows me to eat all day long and instead of trying to avoid higher calorie foods I am seeking them out. I have eaten at least two avocados and two bananas a day just to make sure I am getting the calories and fat. I also have noticed that I can’t stay up too late that my body shuts down at night which is more natural. I wake up spunky and ready to capture the day. The emotional part of this has been very hard but I believe as the days continue I will only be left with the benefits of the diet. Even the emotional end of the diet feels like a benefit. It is as if my body and mind are purging all the bad elements trapped inside. Another experiment in process, we will see where this one leads. I will ride out this roller coaster just like the others.